Secrets Of A Teenage Writer

Perfect (Free Verse)

2011-03-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

Waking up an hour early,
But not to watch the dawn,
Going through some gaudy looks,
Spending fifteen minutes on each one

Locked up in the bathroom,
Putting on a layered mask,
That conceals all the flaws,
Completely covering my face

Foundation in bronzed colors,
To change the pale skin I hate,
Eye shadow in dark pigment,
To hide how my expressions change

The pressure is on this instant,
To be the best that I can be,
To appear so put together,
No one else can pick on me

Sauntering out the door so carefully,
Holding my head up to the sky,
Sticks and stones can break my bones,
But I do this to be perfect

Birthday Poem

2010-11-06T11:47:00.002-07:00

Happy Birthday,
To a special person,
I could say bunches about,
You’re my rock to rest on

From the sorest throats,
To the hardest smacks,
To the difference of the boys,
We fall so hard for

From the rusty jungle gym,
To the bare shoulders,
That we both cry on,
At night when no one’s around

Though your blood,
Doesn’t flow in my veins,
And our hearts,
Don’t ever beat in sync

We’re sisters today,
And tomorrow too,
I’ll be here for,
As long as you need me

And I dearly hope that,
You always know,
Friendships can last all seasons,
But ours can last a lifetime

Nobody's Home

2010-11-06T11:47:00.001-07:00

What’s it like,
Inside your head,
Where you hide,
And I can’t follow

In those moments,
I look at you,
My stomach drops,
Down to my toes

When I see,
Your glassy eyes,
And realize now,
Nobody’s home

The burden grows,
And no one knows,
We keep all this,
Bottled inside

Just An Errant Thought

2010-11-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

This is the time,
That’s going to write,
The story of my life,
If I live it

This is the great escape,
That’s going to create,
Who I am,
If I let it

This is the moment,
That’s going to change,
The mirror I look in,
If I own it

This is the test,
That’s going to make,
Me raise the bar,
If I pass it

This is the place,
That’s going to hold.
My star in the sky,
If I reach it

This is the hand,
That’s going to type,
The novel of the ages,
If I work it

And this is the love,
That’s going to last,
Forever and ever,
If I want it

Random Rain

2010-09-25T10:49:00.002-07:00

This is where I belong,
Where I am today,
It’s a crowded town,
With people all around

It doesn’t look like much,
Not from the outside,
But it holds the key to happiness,
And a way of life that doesn’t lie

Then there’s the nearby road,
Where everyone goes,
To side with the good,
Or go with the bad, who knows?

So I’m walking down the street,
An umbrella over my head,
Waiting for the rain to fall,
And wash me away instead

But somehow I’m still here,
Running from the rain,
Hoping that when it finally falls,
It won’t leave a big stain

The only comfort I get,
Is being utterly alone, and I am,
So I take my umbrella down,
And feel the first drops of water wet my skin

My Music :)

2010-09-25T10:49:00.001-07:00

Music defines us,
Who we are for real,
It’s an expression of what we feel,
It’s a little piece of me nobody can steal

My music is something ,
That can’t be copied or sold,
Something that sings for me,
And me alone

My songs aren’t complicated,
They’re just a word or two,
To make you sigh and swoon,
To make you fall in love with what I do

My notes can be soft,
And drift kind of lazy,
But if I’m in the mood,
Things can get really crazy

Once I get a rhythm,
I can’t seem to stop,
I have to keep writing,
Until I come out on top

If you sit back in your chair,
Close your eyes, listen real close,
You just might hear,
The music I’m trying so hard to make

Just A Rhyming Poem

2010-09-25T10:48:00.000-07:00

It’s not easy,
It’s not cheap,
It comes at a price,
I don’t think I can meet

It’s all empty,
It’s all fake,
It doesn’t give,
It just takes

It can’t be healed,
It can’t be fine,
As much as I digress,
It’s not all mine

It’s never simple,
It’s never clean,
I’d stick around,
If it wasn’t so mean

It’s not a place,
It’s not a thing,
Truly not correct,
Subtract all the bling

It tears me up,
It tears me down,
I can’t say it,
I’m afraid to make a sound

It’s a question of why,
It’s a question of how,
Sometimes, really,
It’s a hope of right now

It makes me sad,
It makes me cry,
I love it so much,
But I have to say goodbye

Flying Low

2010-09-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

See the bruises of black and blue,
That color my skin and soul,
I’ll tell you where I got them from,
Many battles, it seems, have left me unwhole

I played fire against fire,
Smoke so heavy and thick,
Layers upon layers of heat,
Millions of disasters, take your pick

This left painful scars,
Memories that I can’t shake,
These people will have to learn,
There’s nothing in my heart to fake

Trust, respect, truth,
All went up in flames,
But in my barren mind,
They don’t have real names

Little did they realize
Too little too late,
I got up, stretched my wings,
It was time to decide my own fate

As I jumped into the sky,
Flying farther and farther away,
It suddenly struck me dumb,
That nothing could make me stay

I slowly began to heal,
The scars began to fade,
Nothing else mattered to me,
No more of the vicious game I once played

Always untouchable, unreachable, unbreakable,
Never realized how ready I was to let go,
Now I’m laughing so hard, it’s true,
Because I’ll never again fly so low

Mask

2010-09-25T10:45:00.000-07:00

People are so easily fooled,
By how quiet I seem to be,
Silence means nothing to me,
But I have plenty to say

There’s a ton of things nobody knows,
About what I show them,
And who I actually am,
But sometimes it’s hard to make them see

Though I’ve been heartbroken twice,
And kicked around on the playground,
My protective mask still remains on,
Only a couple of people can pull it off

I may be able to hide what I feel on the inside,
By parading what everyone sees on the outside,
I’ve grown comfortable in this mask I wear,
Just because no one seems to like me without it

Before you judge me as a person,
Take a little peek behind my mask,,
It’s who I choose to be and if you don’t like it,
You don’t have to stick around

I really wish I wasn’t afraid anymore,
To show you the person I can be,
I’ll bet next time you’ll hesitate,
When telling others what you think of me

Seventh Grade

2010-03-10T07:38:00.001-08:00

In my seventh grade year, I became a different person,
I grew up physically and emotionally,
My passion for writing expanded,
And my hatred for war made me sick

I’ll never forget my thirteenth birthday,
Or the time I thought nobody on Earth would want me,
My summer was especially colorful,
Filled with happy memories and lessons learned

I fell asleep on the trampoline and got the worst sunburn,
My best friend and I sang along to the hottest new hits on the radio,
As we swept the cobwebs out of the clubhouse,
How much better can it get?

My friends and I ran around the block,
Throwing silly string and pancakes at each other,
While we rolled headfirst down the steep, grassy hills,
All caught up in this excitement just because we were bored

I fussed over my grades because they weren’t perfect,
And ended up crying over the smallest things,
Seeing that I was nutty with the very best of friends,
Who else gets to feel so much so fast?

But all the toils and troubles of this crazy year fall away,
When I see my friends and I in our idiotic videos,
Or when I’m smiling at someone I know,
And they smile back at me

I’ll carry the memories of my seventh grade year with me,
And marvel at their value,
But when it all comes down to it,
There will be many more years to come like this one

Writing Someone Else

2010-03-10T07:37:00.002-08:00

These strings that give me my name,
These people that tie me to Earth,
Honestly all too simple to forget,
When I’m writing someone else

These lives I’ve given breath,
That world that’s at my command,
Something so amazing and familiar and imaginary,
Something so welcome when I’m living my very real life

The threads of myself that I’ve sewn,
The material scraps I’ve found,
Nothing really matters, nothing that I’ve seen or heard,
When I’m another person for a day

From what I say and do,
To what I think and feel,
Everything is different here,
In the world where I’m who I want to be

Can’t I make a world all my own,
One so exciting and full of fantasy,
Where I can decide what I believe in,
And live in my craziest daydreams

All the things that are possible,
The many roles I could embrace,
What I could see in reality,
When I’m writing someone else

Blank Page

2010-03-10T07:37:00.001-08:00

The cursor blinks on the empty page,
I think and think and think,
But all I can do,
Is just stare blankly at the screen

I know I have to write as fast as I can,
My latest project is due tomorrow,
But I can’t concentrate on anything,
My brain is too full of thought

Who said what’s and what say you’s,
Stupid questions and awkward conversations,
The warmth of certain moments and the butterflies in my stomach,
All weigh heavily on my mind

The questions of how did this happen,
Where will it go and do I really hate my parents,
Why do I cry over this stuff and can she come over to play,
It’s without a doubt confusing enough

Specifics like does this dress make me look fat,
Does he really like me and why are these things going on,
Is revenge what matters and oh, what are they all thinking,
What do I write about and can I make it all work?

My Greatest Challenge

2010-03-10T07:36:00.001-08:00

My greatest opponent,
My most powerful enemy,
The only thing in my way,
The one who I battle, day by day

Who makes my choices,
Who lives my life,
The planner of my future,
The creator of my past

What is my sole obstacle,
Which is who I am entwined with forever,
The one I can’t be without,
Somebody that is depended on for making me who I am

Nobody else can do this critical job,
Of deciding my actions,
Of thinking my thoughts,
Of feeling my emotions

I’ll tell you who this person could possibly be,
The key to my life which is held in their hands,
Every minute, every second,
My biggest challenge is myself

Fallen

2009-11-07T15:35:00.000-08:00

I’ve fallen into my words,
I’m drowning in the well,
A well of dreams and feeling,
Love and desire

Retreating into the music,
My inspiration, my muse,
Become the background of my senses,
Cut me off from the world

Change the mode of my mind,
Gather up my drive and imagination,
However I think, never exactly precise,
Use it to find a way

Where do I go,
Where do I land,
How do I feel,
I’ve fallen to my inner self

Memory-A Work of Nonfiction

2009-11-07T15:32:00.002-08:00

As every writer knows, writing the first sentence of a full-length story can be difficult. Balance that with homework, boredom, and basketball tryouts, and you’ve got yourself a mess. And here I sit, banging my head against my keyboard. As for the way I look, in no way could I be described as a dark haired, luminous-eyed beauty, as every wistful teenager wishes. Truth be told, I can’t even begin to consider myself pretty. My green-blue eyes are just a little bit to wide, my face just a little bit too unbalanced to the rest of my body. I’ve always felt a little too big everywhere below the neck for my features-if, indeed, I have any truly attractive ones.

But never mind what I look like, however picture perfect I can’t be. I am a writer, it’s true, but I’ve never been faced with a challenge like this before. Telling my own story is so different from telling someone else’s, but I think I’ll manage to get the words out without too much difficulty. I doubt that the days are as vivid in the minds of the other people who saw them as they are in mine…

My best friend knows I can be an exceedingly bitter person, and I won’t lie, for I tend emphasize that feature when the temper strikes me. I can be stupidly selfish-it kills me, but I just can’t seem to control it. And yet, Morgan has still stuck with me. One day was all it took for my hindsight to be unbearably clear. It was my thirteenth birthday party, no less, and my friend Shelby was enjoying the fun as much as we were. I don’t remember who mentioned him, but somehow, the subject was brought up. “Quit saying that-you don’t know the whole story.” I had all but yelled at them. At first, they tried to pull it out of me playfully, and throughout the course of the evening, I decided to throw at them exactly what they wanted.

“I’m tired of it!” I snarled, feeling slightly nauseous. I was sitting on the floor, next to my window and Morgan was in the beanbag chair. There was a good space between the beanbag and me, so Shelby slid off the bed to sit next to me and leaned her head back so Morgan could see my face. “You don’t want to hear it.” I whispered, my heart almost dropping to my stomach with the load of dread my body dropped on me. “Tell us everything about it.” Morgan said with perfect ease, though a tiny crease appeared in her forehead as she read my expression. I stared at nothing, my voice made up of nothing as I began to talk. “I’ll have to start early, and with the stuff you may already know.”

“At first I was happy that someone cared enough to be my boyfriend, but then I really began to see things for the way they really were. One night, we were talking-just talking over the phone, mind you-when he groaned. When I asked what was wrong, he just told me, in a placating tone, that this kid wouldn’t leave him alone. ‘Why?’ I had asked, partially out of concern, somewhat out of curiosity.” I paused. “After all that time, he still had the power to hold my attention.” I chuckled darkly. “ ‘This kid wants proof that you’re a girl.’ He had laughed lightly, but my mouth had begun to run dry.

‘You can tell I’m a girl just by looking at me.’ ‘I know, but he’s never seen you, so he doesn’t believe me.’ What am I supposed to do about it? I thought, and then asked him. I was suspicious, as I heard no other voice on the other end but his. Like always. ‘He wants a picture of your private parts.’ Josh had said indifferently. For the next two hours, I argued with him. ‘Please?’ He had repeated, using that soft voice. ‘Not even for your own boyfriend?’ Shelby, are you about to have a heart attack?”

Shelby was rigid, her mouth hanging open. “I’m gonna kill me a boy.” Morgan cracked her knuckles, her face white and menacingly furious. “There’s more.” My voice was a part of the darkness that now surrounded my room. Morgan’s lips pressed together in a hard line as she nodded. “Eventually, I lied. I said my phone wasn’t working. Like I would send him those anyway! He was so stupid then as to suggest that I use his phone in the school bathrooms to take them!” I snorted once without any humor.

“After the picture fight, I yearned to have my best friend back. It seemed everything was back to normal, and he was as careful with me as he ever was.” I took a deep, shaky breath, knowing that what came next would have my friends out for blood. “I could talk to him about the deepest things-although, most of those things was stuff he unnecessarily brought up. One night, we were casually talking, and he said, ‘You know, in high school, things could change.’ It took me off guard, and I instantly knew what he meant. ‘Yeah, but I’m staying a virgin until I get married!’ I joked, but he’d heard all this before. I’d rather someone kill me and skin me rather than do the dirty deed before I’m married. ‘That’s stupid!’ He instantly scoffed. ‘Things change!’ ”

“If things did change,” I told my friends slowly, closing my eyes and remembering. “they would be if I got to know someone and grew to love them.” I let out a deep, dragging breath. “And that’s what I told him. What he asked me next blew me up. ‘What if we got to know each other that well this year?’ ” I flexed my fingers. My story was coming to a close. “It hit me then-he was asking me for sex-something I’d never, ever give him. That’s all he wanted! I screamed at myself. No one will ever want you for anything except the gift of a prostitute! ‘No.’ I had gasped. ‘Why not?’ He responded-it was like a small, whining child.”

“Because I’m not like that.” I told my audience, coming back to the present. “I don’t care if no one wants me for the rest of my life-I’ll never sell myself like that.” By then, both Morgan and Shelby were exceedingly ticked off. We ended up trying to calm down by eating a whole tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in half an hour. If that isn’t friendship, then what is? I feel like I’ve poured myself out into this, and now I feel extremely drained. It’s gone from a lazy Sunday to an emotional exercise. It kills me how I can still see my best friend Josh in that pervert, but I do. I want so badly to get out of this mind trap, but how can I if I don’t want to as much as I do?

What is war?

2009-11-07T15:32:00.001-08:00

What is war?

The sound of children screaming for their mothers in every language,
The feeling of not knowing whether you’re about to come home,
The taste of foreign dirt as you roll on the ground,
The smell of your sweat as you catch a little girl’s tears,
The sight of another letter from your husband or wife a whole ocean away

If this is war, what is peace?

The sound of students reciting the pledge of allegiance in unison,
The feeling of knowing your son or daughter is coming home at last,
The taste of hope as the first black president is announced,
The smells of an airplane’s fuel as you get ready to land in your native town,
And the sight of the thousand of American flags, waving at you from every corner of the nation.

This is America

The Final Countdown

2009-11-07T15:31:00.001-08:00

You’ve never seen my face,
You’re too busy looking around,
At everything else but me,
The one who wants your gaze to land on her

Months creep by,
The tick of the clock as my mind races,
My friends harsh in one ear,
You soft in the other

It seems to be a trick,
Can I figure it out in time?
Tick, tick, tick,
The final countdown

Finally free from your spell,
I’m still drawn to you,
An inexplicable, unexplainable pull,
To do what I shouldn’t

All you wanted was something I’d never give,
Exploitation, explanation, exploration,
My permission to do what you wanted,
Letting you inside

Tick, Tock, Tick,
Knowing what you want,
Trying not to give in, convincing myself,
It’s over

Forever

2009-11-07T15:30:00.000-08:00

All alone it seems,
Shrinking into the background,
I’ve held my silence for so many years,
Just moving along and never quite giving it my all

And then you came along,
Making me smile and laugh,
Lighting up my life with your hugs and kisses,
They were essential to my existence

But now that you’ve gone,
My heart will never beat the same,
My breathing will never be steady,
This hole in my chest will never fully heal

I used to dream of our future,
But it ceased to become possible,
You pushed me out of your life,
I hold onto that dream we once shared

Though you may be gone from sight,
And your taste gone from my tongue,
I won’t soon forget,
How eternity can seem so sweet

Cuts-A Work of Fiction

2009-10-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

Somehow, I don't think anything could make me feel the way rain does. Its cool, refreshing, and washes away every bad feeling. Well, almost... It was October of 2009, and I sloshed my way through the puddles along my empty street as icy rain pellets pounded down on my back. I glanced down at my wrist, and pain tore through my abdomen. My scars were showing. I panicked, and ran like hell was coming after me (it probably was) up my driveway. Heart pounding, ears ringing, I unlocked my door and ran inside, directly to my bathroom. My head was spinning like a roulette table on cocaine, and I shook my hair out angrily. My jet black hair stuck up at odd angles, my mascara and eyeliner ran down my face, and my sky blue eyes were completely blank and deviod of all the pain piercing my heart. "Why did you have to do this to me?" I whispered to my reflection, my fingertips gently caressing the cool mirror front. Suddenly, I felt a burst of adrenaline, and red hot fury raced through my veins. "WHY?" I scremed, pounding on the mirror as hard as I could. "Why...why...why?" The mirror shattered into millions of glittering, sharp pieces. For a second, I marveled at how pretty they all were, dancing and dangling mere inches from my face. Then the first slice hit, and the physical pain threw me to the ground. "AGH!" I howled, gingerly touching the deep gash in my cheek. Inspiration struck out through the daze, and I grabbed the sharpest piece, cutting it fiercely into my arm like it was a hammer banging a nail into wood. The rain now poured hard on our windows and roof, making me hear voices that weren't there. Covered in blood, I sank back with cold satisfaction and gazed at my new scars, the ones that would remind me... And then the world spun and emptied so fast it was only a dream.

Title-less Piece

2009-10-18T15:49:00.000-07:00

Raindrops fall like pinpricks against my skin
The wind caresses my cheek,
Its a good, clean feeling,
Like I ever get those anymore

Winter is drawing nearer,
The cold doesn't faze me,
Unless you count on the inside,
Where I'm growing colder still

It starts in my chest,
In the center of my heart,
Until I can barely breathe,
And I don't want to know what's there anymore

Everybody knows what its like to fall in love,
Especially the wrong person,
It can turn into something beautiful,
Or something hideous

Even when I've turned my back,
And the sun begins to set,
The feelings are still there,
Eating there way through me

Until I'm not even there

Two-Way

2009-10-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

I walk in the door,
Weary and battered,
All day long, everybody’s been on my tail,
Making a fool out of me

That night after I finish my homework,
Tired and anxious,
I grab the phone and dial her number,
The number that’s saved my life

When her dad answers,
I politely ask to speak to her,
I’ve never really cared for him,
And neither has the one I desire to talk to

She greets me with a happy hello,
And my heart soars with her firm friendship,
For the first time all day,
I can open up and be myself

No matter if I’m complaining,
Which I do way too often,
Or if I’m too hyper to form coherent words,
She always endures what I give her

I can dish things out,
But I can’t take them back,
But from the moment I met her,
She gave me more than I could ever give her

I’ll never lose her again,
She gets me like no one else,
I love her like a sister,
And I know we’ll be friends forever

How Long?

2009-10-09T22:08:00.001-07:00

It takes an hour to find something beautiful,
Then a whole day to appreciate it,
But it only takes a minute to fall in love,
And a lifetime to forget the feeling

It takes a special person ten minutes,
To make someone laugh,
But it takes just two seconds,
For the entire world to fall down

No matter what it takes,
There’s always options,
But no matter how you try,
It seems that you’ve forever failed

It takes three words on a page,
To make someone feel good,
But it only takes two,
To make a person collapse into ruins

It takes a generation of children,
To make up for past mistakes,
But it merely takes one child,
To change the world

A Poem For Thought

2009-10-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

Walking in the hallways of your school
All you hear is the calls and rushing voices of your peers,
Some aiming their taunts and teases at you,
And all you can think is, Shake it off

Every time you look in the mirror,
You wonder what everyone else sees,
Who you’re really are,
Or who you think you are

When you smile or laugh,
The thought just seems to creep up on your mind,
The suddenly loudest voice that practically cries out,
Who am I?

Even when you feel like you belong,
Or when you want to scream to the world,
There’s always that one thread of doubt in the back of your head,
Infecting all the others

It may take a while,
But eventually it’ll happen,
You’ll find out who you really are,
And you'll finally shed who you once thought you were

Be Still

2009-10-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

Be still and listen to her barely breathing,
The action of automatic reflex,
A great feat on her part,
As she slowly spills out into the winter night

Details of happiness, love, and pain collide,
Making it hard to get up again,
To face the harsh, seething world,
As it comes back to sink its teeth into her

But once more her sun rises,
Another time her life goes on,
Then she ails and cries and cuts,
The cycle never ends

Her life is gray and bleak,
As she watches the sun go down,
Mother Earth shapes her features,
Hard, rough, lined, beautiful

She blinks away the tears,
Sheds the coat of darkness,
And breathes calmly again today,
Until she hides away again
　
　
　